you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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