that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
