Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
