Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize