i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
