is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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