But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
