Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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