I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
