I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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