So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
