I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
