Someone shit on the floor
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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