is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
