you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just found puke in my bra..
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
