Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
