I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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