dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
