So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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