You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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