it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
