Bisexual people are plain selfish.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
