it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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