Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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