Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
