Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
