i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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