wake up i wanna do it froggy style
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
either way he was missing a nipple.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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