I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
