Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
