Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
