Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
