i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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