That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize