I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
