What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
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