We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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