we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my liver is dry heaving
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
