so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
