He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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