please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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