If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
