dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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