It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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