Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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