that's an acceptable place to lick
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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