I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
