I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
