I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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