Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
