Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
