Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
