I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
