I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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