the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is Oprah even human
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
