my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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