My friends, they love my intelligence
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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