I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My breasts were aching with rage.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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