I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
my poor anus
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
