cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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