He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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