I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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